The Next Best Thing (2000)

Abbie Reynolds (Madonna) and Robert Whittaker (Rupert Everett) fall into an amorous embrace on a fateful 4th of July after a few too many martinis. Robert is a landscaper and gay, which complicates things. Abbie is a yoga instructor who confesses a few weeks later that she is pregnant. Six years later, Robert, Abbie, and their son Sam (Malcolm Stumpf) are living together peacefully and happily--that is, until hunky investment banker Ben Cooper (Benjamin Bratt) starts making eyes at Abbie, throwing their alternative family into disarray. The relationship of a gay man, straight woman, and child falls apart when Abbie falls in love with Ben and wants to move away with him and Robert's little boy, Sam. A nasty, full-of-surprises custody battle ensues between Abbie and Robert.

This comedy-drama was a critical and commercial flop. Madonna won a Razzie award for worst actress, and the film was nominated for other Razzies including Worst Director, Worst Picture and Worst Screenplay. Critic Roger Ebert gave the movie 1 star, stating: "The Next Best Thing is a garage sale of gay issues, harnessed to a plot as exhausted as a junkman's horse." The inept screenplay has cardboard dialogue that sounds like first-draft material--including wailing by Madonna about how she can't find a man, and a gym-buffed Everett complaining about gay male body image.

The movie stumbles from domestic comedy to custody-suit tragedy when it takes a bizarre left turn in the third act. Any statements about new definitions of family are buried underneath these events, which provide teary courtroom outbursts for both leads. Everett has a quick way with a one-liner, and Madonna is more relaxed than she's ever been in a film, but they are just in front of the camera with no help from the supporting cast. Music from the movie is a soundtrack including two songs by singer Madonna, "American Pie" and "Time Stood Still". Tom Ropelewski wrote the screenplay and John Schlesinger directed.

Velocity of Gary (1999)

Valentino (Vincent D'Onofrio) is a former bisexual porn star who is slowly dying of AIDS. He's also one third of a ménage à trois that includes his obnoxious waitress girlfriend Mary Carmen (Salma Hayek) and his boyfriend Gary (Thomas Jane). Gary, a young hustler, resents Mary, but they put aside their differences when Valentino is diagnosed with AIDS, creating a makeshift family to mutually love and support him to the tragic end.

The film opens with Gary (not his real name, nor is it ever revealed), walking through the streets of New York City, cruising to pick up a guy or two. On the way, he saves a deaf drag queen from a group of gay bashers, but regrets it when he follows him everywhere. Enter Mary Carmen, the Latina who is in love with Valentino, Throughout the movie, Mary Carmen and Gary argue over what kind of care he should be receiving, and who is going to supply that care. The real waves of emotion come when the time for Valentino's impending death becomes very short, and the three of them begin to take stock of themselves as well as their relationship with one another.

This movie has good dialogue. The line, "Gary dreams about kissing someone so hard his mouth hurts. He dreams about kissing someone so soft his heart hurts, so long his neck hurts, so deep his throat hurts. Gary dreams about kissing someone so. . . completely that nothing hurts," is genius on the part of the writers. The sexual inuendo in the film, such as the kiss between Valentino and Gary in the phone room, takes it as far as it can without going into the extreme, and the passion between characters is very evident. Searching for one's purpose in life and where life goes is underlined in this movie, which will move its open-minded viewers to tears of sadness as well as joy.

But the movie comes across like a housewife's idea of what life is like "on the edge"--teeming with drugs, wild dancing, and drag queens. There's even a deaf, transgendered, Patsy Cline-wannabe who gets hit by a car while trying to call for an ambulance. The film tries so hard to be outrageous that it's almost offensive--everybody is so busy being dangerously fabulous that nobody seems human. Peitor Angell composed the original music, James Still wrote the screenplay, and Dan Ireland directed.

My Night with Reg (1996)

Set among London's gay community in the mid-1980s against the background of the mounting AIDS crisis, "My Night with Reg" follows the ups and downs of a circle of gay friends over a period of several years. One of the group, the Reg mentioned in the title, is the center of the film, and the whole plot revolves around his sexual promiscuity and the chain reaction of deception and betrayal set off by it. The group of English gay friends get together to reminisce. They are all coming from a wake for a friend in their circle who has died of AIDS. It's that terrifying time between the outbreak of AIDS and the development of an AIDS test and as the conversation unfolds it becomes apparent that each man there has had unprotected sex with the deceased.

The group, most of them in their thirties, meet at irregular intervals, often at Guy's place. Guy (David Bamber) is a lonely man. Ever since their university days, he has had a crush on John (Anthony Calf) but he has never dared to tell him about it. Instead he lives a solitary life, which he spices up with phone sex and occasional visits to a gay pub, where he meets 18 year-old Eric (Joe Duttine), who then helps him decorate his new flat. On holiday on the island of Lanzarote, he meets a gay man who eventually forces himself on Guy and has unprotected sex with him. At his flatwarming party, he has just come back from his holiday and is still quite shocked about what happened. It is hard for him not to start crying when, as a present, John gives him a cookery book specializing in dishes for one.

The most popular man in the gay circle is Reg, who is conspicuously absent from the party. Reg has had a long-term relationship with Daniel (John Sessions), but Daniel suspects Reg of occasionally being unfaithful to him. In fact, Reg seems to be sleeping with every man he can get hold of (as it seems, even with the vicar). Eventually John, Benny (Kenneth MacDonald) and even his seemingly faithful companion Bernie (Roger Frost) have secret sex with Reg. Ironically, they all confide in Guy. It hurts Guy most to hear that John is having an affair with Reg, thus betraying their mutual friend Daniel. After his fling with Reg, Benny panics because he thinks he might have contracted HIV, but he does not confess it to his partner, Bernie.

When Reg is dying from AIDS, he is looked after by his partner, Daniel. Ironically, the next one to die is Guy, the only one who has not had sex with Reg and who seems to have been infected with AIDS when he was raped during his holiday in Lanzarote. Guy bequeaths his new flat to the love of his life, John, who somewhere in the flat finds all kinds of memorabilia dating back to their student days.

This made for TV BBC production has been described as "a poignant, beautifully written play, warm and funny, but also completely believable, with characters who are more than just ciphers or symbols and emotional themes which are more than just rhetorical window-dressing." Kevin Elyot adapted the screenplay from his own Broadway production of the London hit play of the same title. Roger Michell directed.

Love and Death on Long Island (1997)

This updated "Death in Venice" is about Giles De'Ath (John Hurt), a stuffy British widower and author who doesn't like anything modern. He reminds people that his surname is pronounced "Day-ath," Giles gets locked out of his house one day and decides to see an E. M. Forrester movie adaptation at a cinema to pass the time. He mistakenly goes into the wrong theater and, as he is about to leave the American teenager comedy "Hot Pants College II", notices young actor Ronnie Bostock (Jason Priestley) who immediately strikes his fancy. He then investigates everything about the movie and Ronnie. From there, we go on a journey with Giles as his attraction to the mediocre actor goes from slight interest to an obsession.

Giles travels to Chesterton, Long Island where Ronnie lives and meets him, pretending that Ronnie is a great actor and that's why he admires him. He wants to change Ronnie's career from low-brow to high-brow and start a new career in Europe. Audrey (Fiona Loewi) is the teen idol's fashion model girlfriend, considerably sharper than she first appears. Hurt's futile but brilliant attempts to seduce Ronnie under Audrey's nose is both poignant and hilarious. His meeting with him in some ways pushes the reserved writer's emotional threshold over the top. We come to see Giles as half stalker, half poète maudit, transfigured by a romantic obsession. The subtext of homosexuality is too obvious to be taken seriously, for the real subtext is something more subtle. This movie shows that the love you feel with your eyes and ears is more meaningful than anything that happens below the waist. In the diner scene near the end, Giles admits to Ronnie that he feels love. Ronnie rejects him. The few scenes after that show that Giles' life has been greatly enriched by his non-physical experiences with the heartthrob actor.

The homosexual undercurrent in this wry, offbeat comedy can play comfortably in front of straight viewers looking for humor, satire, crisp writing, fresh perspectives, and great acting. Based on the acclaimed short novel by Gilbert Adair, the screenplay was written by Richard Kwietniowski, who also directed..

Velvet Goldmine (1998)

Brian Slade (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) is a bisexual glam rock star patterned mostly after David Bowie in the 1970s and 80s. Slade inspires teenage boys and girls to paint their nails and explore their own sexuality. Unable to escape the role he created for himself, he plots his own murder. In the end he destroys himself, but when his fans discover that the murder is a fake, his popularity declines and he is all but forgotten. Another rock star, Curt Wild (Ewan McGregor) is a genre defying performer who doesn't back down from sex, nudity, or drugs on or off stage, and who is based on Iggy Pop and Lou Reed (whose parents sent him to electroshock therapy to "cure" his homosexuality).

The story follows a British journalist, Arthur Stewart (Christian Bale), who has to search his own past when writing an article about the mysterious disappearance of Brian Slade for an American periodical. The film turns Slade's paranoia of being murdered during a concert (a paranoia that Bowie incorporated into the "Ziggy Stardust" story in the climax of the "Ziggy Stardust" album) into a career-ending publicity stunt by Slade, after which he gradually disappears from the public view. As Stewart locates and talks with people connected to Slade, trying to find out what happened, he revisits the glam-rock scene of the 70s in a series of vignettes, which recreate the stories of Slade, Wild, and others involved in their lives.

The tale strongly parallels Bowie and Iggy Pop's relationship in the 1970s and 1980s, with parallel stages in both stories. Brian Slade's gradually overwhelming on-stage persona of "Maxwell Demon" and his backing band, "Venus in Furs", likewise bear a resemblance to Bowie's similar persona and backing band, Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. And like the relationship of Slade and Wild, Bowie produced records with both Iggy Pop and Lou Reed.

Although the character of Brian Slade is heavily based on David Bowie, Bowie disliked the script and refused to allow his songs in the film. The soundtrack features new songs written for the movie by Pulp, Shudder To Think, and Grant Lee Buffalo, as well as many early glam rock compositions, both covers and original versions. The title of the movie takes its name from the song "Velvet Goldmine", written by David Bowie. Lead character Brian Slade is an allusion to the 1970s glam band Slade, and the name of Slade's persona "Maxwell Demon" is from Brian Eno's first band. Curt Wild's backing band, The Rats, shares its name with one of Mick Ronson's earliest groups, and also alludes to Iggy Pop's band, The Stooges (both words are terms for someone who is an informer). "Venus in Furs" is a reference to Lou Reed's Velvet Underground song of the same name. Carter Burwell and Craig Wedren composed the original music, and Todd Haynes wrote the screenplay from his story co-written with James Lyons. Todd Haynes directed.

Opposite of Sex (1998)

On the death of her stepfather, perky 16 year-old Louisiana girl Dede Truitt (Christina Ricci) moves in with her gay schoolteacher half-brother Bill (Martin Donovan) and immediately starts coming on to his sexual partner Matt Mateo (Ivan Sergei), finally forcing him into an affair in which she becomes pregnant. She tricks him into believing he impregnated her, but in fact the father of her child is her ex-boyfriend Randy "One Ball" Cates (William Lee Scott). She and Matt elope, leaving Bill and his uptight best friend Lucia DeLury (Lisa Kudrow), the sister of Bill's deceased previous lover, to try and track them down and sort out the mess.

In the meantime, Matt's "bit on the side," Jason Bock (Johnny Galecki), attempts to blackmail Bill, claiming he sexually assaulted him while he was a student, causing much media attention. As the situation snowballs, the only person who sees what Dede is up to is the frustrated acid-tongued Lucia. The whole affair blows into a scandal exposing her school teacher brother and the true parent of the child is called into question as it is revealed that there have been a series of lovers. The film's climax is set in Canada where all of the characters finally meet up, and where Deedee gives birth to her son Randy Jr.

After the birth, Dede goes to prison for a few months, then moves back in with Bill, while Matt and Jason travel together, and Lucia marries her old friend Sheriff Carl Tippett (Lyle Lovett). Narrating the ending, Dede sarcastically concludes that sex is the opposite of what people really want, leading to kids, disease, and relationships. At the end of the film, the vignettes of the various caring relationships among the characters shows the opposite of superficial sexual gratification.

This film is a black comedy, narrated by and centered around self-absorbed, manipulative, cynical teenager Dede who manages to destroy the lives of everyone she meets. There is some heart underneath all the back-stabbing, betrayals, crime, and seediness. Janet Maslin in The New York Times called it a "gleefully acerbic comedy". Film critic Roger Ebert enjoyed the voice-over narration supplied in-character by Ricci, calling it "refreshing" and comparing it to "Mystery Science Theater 3000". Mason Daring composed the original music, and Don Roos wrote the screenplay and directed.

Midnight Cowboy (1969)

James Leo Herlihy's 1965 novel was made into a great motion picture by director John Schlesinger. It's a graphic character study of two very different men who become close friends in the decaying 42nd Street area of New York City in the late 1960's.

(first lines)
Joe Buck: "Whoopee-tee-yi-yo. Get along little dogies. It's your misfortune and none of my own."

Jon Voight, in his film debut, plays Joe Buck, a handsome but naive hick who moves to NYC to work as a freelance gigolo and hustler. He ends up being out-hustled by everyone else in the Big Apple. Wearing a cowboy costume, he says, "I ain't a for real cowboy, but I am a hell of a stud." He tries to hustle rich middle-aged Cass, who angrily tells him, "You were gonna ask me for money? Who the hell do you think you're dealing with, some old slut on 42nd Street? In case you didn't happen to notice it, ya big Texas longhorn bull, I'm one helluva gorgeous chick!" Cass cries and Joe Buck gives her most of his money.

Dustin Hoffman plays Enrico Salvatore "Ratso" Rizzo, a sleazy derelict of a con man who is tubercular and has a limp. Originally he was a shoe shiner, as was his father. Hoffman put pebbles in his shoe to make his limp consistent. Ratso cons Joe Buck out of $20, but later becomes his friend and inept "manager". He tells Joe Buck, "Frankly, you're beginning to smell, and for a stud in New York that's a handicap."

Joe Buck: "I like the way I look. Makes me feel good, it does. And women like me, goddammit. Hell, the only one thing I ever been good for is lovin'. Women go crazy for me, that's a really true fact. Ratso, hell! Crazy Annie they had to send her away."
Ratso Rizzo: "Then, how come you ain't scored once the whole time you been in New York?"

One of the many highlights of the film is a party scene that captures the groovy 1960's perfectly. Some of Andy Warhol's "superstars" make cameo appearances. Ratso says, "You want the word on that brother-and-sister act? Hansel's a fag and Gretel's got the hots for herself. So who cares, right? Load up on the salami." Joe Buck leaves the party with a woman customer, but suffers from temporary impotence. Ratso fills his pockets with food and is noticed by Gretel McAlbertson (Viva).

Gretel: "Are you stealing food?"
Ratso: "I was just noticing that you're out of salami."
Gretel: "Gee, well, you know, it's free. You don't have to steal it."
Ratso: "Well, if it's free, then I ain't stealin'."

Joe Buck and Ratso struggle for survival in the harsh and squalid nightmare of an urban jungle. They dream of making it big and retiring to Florida as Ratso's health continues to deteriorate. Ratso says, "Here I am goin' to Florida, my leg hurts, my butt hurts, my chest hurts, may face hurts, and like that ain't enough, I gotta pee all over myself." The film is clever, perceptive and captures two brilliant performances. Events are largely chronological, with flashbacks to Joe Buck's grandmother Sally (Ruth White) and his promiscuous girlfriend Crazy Annie (Jenifer Salt). The ending is tragic.

Also in the cast are: Sylvia Miles (Cass), John McGiver (Mr. O'Daniel), Brenda Vaccaro (Shirley), Gilman Rankin (Woodsy Niles), Gary Owens (Little Joe), George Eppersen (Ralph), Jonathan Kramer (Jackie), Waldo Salt (Joe Pyne), John McGiver ( Mr. O'Daniel), Bernard Huges (Towny), Gil Rankin (Woodsy Niles), T. Tom Marlow (Little Joe), George Eppersen (Ralph), Al Scott, Linda Davis, J. T. Masters, Arlene Reeder, Georgann Johnson, Johnathan Kramer, Anthony Holland, Bob Balaban, Jan Tice, Paul Benjamin, Peter Scalia, Vito Siracusa, Peter Zamiagias, Arthur Anderson, Tina Scal, Alma Felix, Richard Clarke, Ann Thomas, Gastone Rossilli, Ultra Violet, Paul Jabara, International Velvet, Cecelia Lipson, Taylor Mead, Paul Morrissey, Joan Murphy, and Al Stetson. Waldo Salt wrote the screenplay. Original music is by John Barry. John Schlesinger directed.

When the movie was released in 1969 it was X-rated. In 1971 the rating was changed to R, with no changes to the film. It is 113 minutes long, but the TV prints are drastically censored and somewhat incomprehensible. MIDNIGHT COWBOY is one of the best films of the 1960's, a landmark in cinema history with a simple, sentimental story. It's a true classic, very touching, poignant, realistic, compelling, but disturbing and ultimately depressing.

"Midnight Cowboy" won Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director and Best Screenplay. It is the only X-rated movie ever to win for Best Picture.

The Joe Buck role was first offered to other actors. Elvis Presley was considered, but Colonel Parker turned down the part without consulting Elvis. Originally Nilsson wrote "I Guess the Lord Must Be In New York City" for the film, but "Everybody's Talkin' At Me" was used instead, written by Fred Neil with Nilsson singing it.

Privates on Parate (1982)

In 1948 the British are fighting a Communist insurrection in the Malayan jungles. For the British Army in Malaya, WWII has hardly stopped. Acting Captain Terri Dennis (Denis Quilley) heads up a ragtag group of inept soldiers whose job it is to improve morale by staging song and dance shows for the troops. Since there are few women available, most of the troupe doubles in full drag, including--with great enthusiasm and queenly putdowns--Dennis. The troupe performs routines that parody Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, Marlene Dietrich, Carmen Miranda, marching production numbers, and Vera Lynn-type ballads. There is some obscenity, and the dialogue is full of sexual innuendo, bawdy one-liners, and gay stereotyping, especially in Denis Quilley's great performance. But in between the numbers are bitter messages targeting the British empire, the behavior of British officers, the repression of gay love, and the hypocrisy of some men toward women.

The troupe is under the command of rigid Major Giles Flack (John Cleese), a Bible quoting anti-communist Army man who is more inept than the soldiers under him. He likes to give impromptu seminars to his troops on the two principal causes of the decline of the West, ''luxury and blasphemy'', and to toast ''the victory of Christian enlightenment". In a serious subplot British arms are being stolen from a depot and being sold to the guerrillas. The ringleader is Sergeant Major Reg Drummond (Michael Elphick), a treacherous coward in the group who gets the only real woman in the troupe pregnant and then abuses her. He steals armaments and information to give to the enemy. In the end, a terrible battle ensues at his hands. One thing leads to another and soon the troupe is on a tour of remote outposts in the northern jungle. Unknown to them, they are transporting one last big haul of rifles and ammunition.

"Privates on Parade" at times is funny, witty, and very black, but can't seem to decide which sacred cows it wants to gore or which messages it wants to deliver. It's something of a curiosity piece, a melodramatic farce adaptated from Peter Nichols' stage play. The actors are good, including John Cleese who plays John Cleese to give this movie star power. Denis King composed the music, Peter Nichols wrote the screenplay from his own play, and Michael Blakemore directed.

Priest (1994)

Father Greg Pilkington (Linus Roache) is assigned to St. Mary's parish in Liverpool, and startled to discover Father Matthew Thomas (Tom Wilkinson) is engaged in a sexual relationship with rectory housekeeper Maria Kerrigan (Cathy Tyson). While his conservatism and religious beliefs are offended by the older priest's disregard for his vow of celibacy, he struggles with his own homosexual urges, especially after he meets Graham (Robert Carlyle) at a local gay hangout and the two begin a physical relationship. Meanwhile, student Lisa Unsworth (Christine Tremarco) confides she is the victim of incestuous sexual abuse by her father, who confirms her story. But both have revealed their secret in the confessional, and Father Greg is required to honor the sanctity of the Sacrament of Penance and not reveal what he has been told, despite the fact the girl is suffering emotionally and physically. He tries to warn her mother to keep a close watch on her, but the naive woman believes her daughter is safe with her husband.

When Mrs. Unsworth (Lesley Sharp) discovers her husband molesting Lisa and realizes the priest knew what was happening, she lashes out at him. Adding to his torment is his arrest for engaging in sexual activity with Graham in a parked car. When he pleads guilty to the charge, the story is front page news in the local newspaper. Unable to face his parishioners, Father Greg relocates to a remote rural parish headed by a disapproving and unforgiving priest. Father Matthew convinces him to return to St. Mary's, and the two preside over a Mass that is disrupted by the protests of those opposed to Father Greg's presence on the altar. Father Matthew demands the protesters leave the chapel. The two priests then begin to distribute the Eucharist, but the remaining parishioners ignore Father Greg and line up to receive communion from Father Matthew. Lisa finally approaches the younger priest, and the two fall into each other's arms sobbing.

Although at times serious and distressing, "Priest" also has some moments that are funny. When Pilkington asks a woman with a neck-brace if she has hurt her neck, she replies "No, I'm a dedicated follower of fashion." The scenes where Pilkington is with his partner Graham are sensual and do not flinch from portraying their homosexual relationship erotically and candidly. Film critic Roger Ebert rated the film one star out of a possible four, calling the screenplay "shallow and exploitative." He added, "The movie argues that the hidebound and outdated rules of the church are responsible for some people (priests) not having sex although they should, while others (incestuous parents) can keep on having it although they shouldn't. For this movie to be described as a moral statement about anything other than the filmmaker's prejudices is beyond belief." Peter Stack of the San Francisco Chronicle called it "an exceptional movie," "powerful drama," and "a curiously inspiring statement about faith and morality." Don't get me started. Andy Roberts composed the original music, Jimmy McGovern wrote the screenplay, and Antonia Bird directed.

Advice from a caterpillar (1999)

Missy (Cynthia Nixon) is a pop artist who has great success with her family's cheesy home movies, copying them on video, and then adding wry commentary. She is having an affair with married man "Suit" (Jon Tenny). Her best friend Spaz (Andy Dick) can't seem to keep a relationship or art gig going, and has turned to catering to pay the bills. Afraid of commitment, Missy is happy with her affair with "Suit", provided he remains casual about their relationship. Add to the mix bi-sexual Brat (Timothy Olyphant) who has captured both Spaz and Missy's eyes. Missy and Brat are attracted to each other, but is she willing to ruin a long-term friendship for a one night stand? After all, her artistic career is flourishing, her NYC loft is fabulous, and her relationship with a married man is totally uncomplicated. Brat, who's sweet, genuine and shares her fondness for 1970s sitcoms, is also dating her pal Spaz. When Missy and Brat unexpectedly fall for each other, will she lose her identity and her best friend? As soon as Missy spies the naked Brat sleeping in her gay friend's bed and her eyes betray her interest, we know that they will be together by the end of the film. The final confrontation scene in the diner with a commenting chorus of patrons is meant to be hilarious. But it's too far-fetched and contrived, and there can be no romantic movie if one doesn't care about the characters involved.

This film tells us that any bi-sexual man can be "cured" by the love of a good woman. Yet even accepting this preposterous and insulting premise, it is inconceivable that Brat would have Spaz's homely, effeminate character as a regular sex-partner or fall in love with the irritating Missy. There is little chemistry between Missy and either man. The most interesting thing in this film is the title, derived from "Alice in Wonderland", which plays a key role in the film. Basically it's just another pretentious low budget movie released under the guise of independent film making. John Hill composed the music, and Douglas Carter Beane wrote the screemplay from his own stage play. Don Scardino directed.